Discussion:
Tips for Costume Contestants
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p***@gmail.com
2006-01-18 13:53:58 UTC
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I was just inspired to write the following eight tips for contestants
in con costume competitions. Copied from my LiveJournal entry (
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bobquasit/218673.html ):

1. This is a science fiction and fantasy convention. Don't wear
something that anyone could see on any mundane walking down the street.
If you simply HAVE to wear that plain brown dress, at least stick a
fucking antennae on your head and call yourself an alien!

2. No one except the workmanship judges will care that you used 3.48478
cm beading with a left-handed rawler and genuine alpaca-hide
feathering. Make a costume that's interesting to look at, or show us
some skin.

3. This is a costume contest, not a dance competition. Stop dancing.
Show the damned costume and get off the stage.

4. Stop hurting our ears. Record your music at a reasonable level.

5. Don't bore us with your interminable narration. We don't give a shit
about the history of Queen Aphasia, Empress of the Sixth Scrotumverse
or whatever the hell she is. We know damned well that she's your LARP
PC, and we don't care.

6. Have a sense of humor. One good laugh is worth ten thousand
hand-crafted beads. On second thought, make that ten million.

7. Take it easy on the host. Give your entry a pronouncable name. And
if your own name is unusual, include a phonetic translation.

8. Speed it up! Any entry that takes more than ten seconds to present
had damned well better be REALLY funny, feature an incredible special
effect (and no, special beading doesn't count), or be modeled by
someone seriously hot.
Andre Lieven
2006-01-18 23:56:39 UTC
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Post by p***@gmail.com
I was just inspired to write the following eight tips for contestants
in con costume competitions. Copied from my LiveJournal entry (
As the director of the MediaWestCon masquerade, I have a few nits
to pick.
Post by p***@gmail.com
1. This is a science fiction and fantasy convention. Don't wear
something that anyone could see on any mundane walking down the street.
If you simply HAVE to wear that plain brown dress, at least stick a
fucking antennae on your head and call yourself an alien!
That ones fine. A hall costume worn during the con is also fine,
but regular street worthy clothing isn't a costume; its work clothes.
Post by p***@gmail.com
2. No one except the workmanship judges will care that you used 3.48478
cm beading with a left-handed rawler and genuine alpaca-hide
feathering. Make a costume that's interesting to look at, or show us
some skin.
No. " No costume is no costume ". If you're horny, then go to a strip
bar, and let the masquerade do it's different thing.

Good workmanship is noteworthy, though thats one reason to have a
separate workmanship judge, who usually does their judging backstage.
Post by p***@gmail.com
3. This is a costume contest, not a dance competition. Stop dancing.
Show the damned costume and get off the stage.
No. Good presentation can really add to a costume. The least interesting
thing for a contestant to do, is a five second walk past, as the audience
and judges simply won't have time to *see* what the costume is all about.
Post by p***@gmail.com
4. Stop hurting our ears. Record your music at a reasonable level.
Sure. Many con masquerades have a tech run-through sometime, usually,
earlier in the day of the event. Its always a good idea for contestants
to come and see how things will run, and to test out theur music/
narration media. Also, if you are bringing such media, make sure that
the masquerade can play the formet your media is on. This often can
also be asked about before the con, by contacting the con and/or
it's masquerade department.
Post by p***@gmail.com
5. Don't bore us with your interminable narration. We don't give a shit
about the history of Queen Aphasia, Empress of the Sixth Scrotumverse
or whatever the hell she is. We know damned well that she's your LARP
PC, and we don't care.
Some do. A short narration is fine. But, try to keep it under 20
seconds. Narration for the purpose of the action of the entry
( Like a sword fight during the presentation- check with the
masquerade dept if such is allowed at theirs- should not exceed
the narrated action.
Post by p***@gmail.com
6. Have a sense of humor. One good laugh is worth ten thousand
hand-crafted beads. On second thought, make that ten million.
This is the truest one, and simply cannot be overstated.
Post by p***@gmail.com
7. Take it easy on the host. Give your entry a pronouncable name. And
if your own name is unusual, include a phonetic translation.
Absa-fraggin'-lutely !
Post by p***@gmail.com
8. Speed it up! Any entry that takes more than ten seconds to present
had damned well better be REALLY funny, feature an incredible special
effect (and no, special beading doesn't count), or be modeled by
No, up to 30 seconds is fine. Somewhat longer, if there are several
people in the entry, if there is a schtick involved, or an action
sequence, or the like, is OK, too. If you figure say, 25 entries,
and ten seconds per presentation, even allowing for, say, 30 seconds
between entries, you're all out of there in 16.7 minutes.

Not much of a masquerade, in my ( 13 years run now ) book.
Post by p***@gmail.com
someone seriously hot.
Again, go to a strip bar. No one owes you " hot " at a con, OK ?

Andre
p***@gmail.com
2006-01-19 00:57:43 UTC
Permalink
I guess I failed to make it clear that the whole thing was written as a
joke. Sorry, I thought it would be obvious. Oh well. Back to the
drawing board!
Andre Lieven
2006-01-19 04:58:10 UTC
Permalink
Post by p***@gmail.com
I guess I failed to make it clear that the whole thing was written as a
joke.
Well, jokes are... funny. Don't give up the day job...

And, I have seen some of those views displayed at some cons... Usually
from people who don't know why things are done as they are, and who
haven't bothered to ask anyone.
Post by p***@gmail.com
Sorry, I thought it would be obvious.
It would have been, had you been on The Comedy Network, or on a stage
at a stand up bar...
Post by p***@gmail.com
Oh well. Back to the drawing board!
Yep. Robin Williams and Dennis Leary's jobs are safe...

Andre

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